Being a mom is not easy. It never has been. Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of moments that are filled with love and laughter and happy memories. Today was hard though. Having four little kids means that there is at least two people screaming at all times, milk and juice spilled all over the ground every day, poopy messes to clean up and tantrums to discipline. It's a tough job. Some things in life give you an instant result. If I bake rolls for 20 minutes in the oven, they will turn out golden brown. If I pay my electric bill, my lights will work. The jobs of a mother are complex and the result of happy, successful children may not manifest right away.
I woke up this morning thinking how I want to make today about the kids. I don't want to be running tons of errands or scrubbing my floors all day. I want to make today fun and carefree. However, my attempts seem to have failed. I let the kids go swimming but the fighting got so bad that we threw in the towel. I tried doing crafts and stories with the kids, but everything was wrong and complained about. It seems that all I tried to do today was met with an ungrateful heart and annoyed disposition. That's why being a mom is hard. I want to connect with my kids emotionally and show them that I do things with them to show them my love. When those moments turn out to be memories I'd rather NOT remember, I scratch my head and wonder where I went wrong. I'm just not sure what to do.
I am going to ask Josh to give me a blessing so I can get some more guidance. I need some desperately. It always helps talking to my friends who have kids the same age. I'll see them tomorrow, so hopefully they will have some more advice for me.
Til next time....
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Thoughts on Scripture Reading
This is my first blog post. I've been thinking the past few days how I wish I still journaled. I wish I were better at documenting the little thoughts that pop into my mind every day. I think it's important and a big key to receiving revelation. I've had times in my life when I have been really diligent with my journal writing, and it's been quite a spiritual experience. Sometimes when I'm journaling, I feel more like I'm praying. I could use that kind of spirit in my life. Now and always.
Today my thoughts are on scripture reading. Last night it was late, we were going into the bathroom to brush our teeth and I had the thought, "did you read your scriptures today?" My mind raced throughout all I did that day and I came to the conclusion that I had forgotten to read. I whipped out my phone, clicked on my gospel library, hoping for a short chapter, and landed on 2 Nephi 9. As I sat in our recliner with my toothbrush buzzing in my hand, I realized I was really a truly special chapter. I marked many verses that stuck out to me. Verse 18 talks about how the earth was created for US! The earth wasn't created and we were the afterthought. No, all that is around us and all that we experience every day was made, planned, created because our Heavenly Father wants us to be able to progress. He gave us the beauty of the earth to help us along the way. He knew we would need pretty sunsets and clear blue days. He also knew we would need rain and flowers and oceans to appeal to our senses. This earth is truly so magnificent and we often forget to see the miracle that is staring us in the face. It's glorious.
In verse 40 of this same chapter, it talks about how the righteous do not fear evil but love truth. It says that the righteous are not shaken. I think this verse sums up my husband incredibly well. This is Josh! He is so unmovable. It amazes me how nothing that the world is coming up with today even phases him. I think Heavenly Father gave me him for many reasons but I think this was the number one reason by far. I have had to rely on his faith before. I feel incredibly stronger as a result of his testimony. I feel that I am more able to stand firm myself because of his example.
Anyways, last night I had the spirit witness to me once again of the power of doing what's right. In this case, it was having daily scripture study. It really filled me with truth and I was so grateful for the strength to do what was right. I am trying to make it a point every day to feel the spirit in my life. I can't do it though if I spend all of my time online and then five minutes on scripture study. I'm grateful to have so much access to so much good and I want to fill my life with it.
Today my thoughts are on scripture reading. Last night it was late, we were going into the bathroom to brush our teeth and I had the thought, "did you read your scriptures today?" My mind raced throughout all I did that day and I came to the conclusion that I had forgotten to read. I whipped out my phone, clicked on my gospel library, hoping for a short chapter, and landed on 2 Nephi 9. As I sat in our recliner with my toothbrush buzzing in my hand, I realized I was really a truly special chapter. I marked many verses that stuck out to me. Verse 18 talks about how the earth was created for US! The earth wasn't created and we were the afterthought. No, all that is around us and all that we experience every day was made, planned, created because our Heavenly Father wants us to be able to progress. He gave us the beauty of the earth to help us along the way. He knew we would need pretty sunsets and clear blue days. He also knew we would need rain and flowers and oceans to appeal to our senses. This earth is truly so magnificent and we often forget to see the miracle that is staring us in the face. It's glorious.
In verse 40 of this same chapter, it talks about how the righteous do not fear evil but love truth. It says that the righteous are not shaken. I think this verse sums up my husband incredibly well. This is Josh! He is so unmovable. It amazes me how nothing that the world is coming up with today even phases him. I think Heavenly Father gave me him for many reasons but I think this was the number one reason by far. I have had to rely on his faith before. I feel incredibly stronger as a result of his testimony. I feel that I am more able to stand firm myself because of his example.
Anyways, last night I had the spirit witness to me once again of the power of doing what's right. In this case, it was having daily scripture study. It really filled me with truth and I was so grateful for the strength to do what was right. I am trying to make it a point every day to feel the spirit in my life. I can't do it though if I spend all of my time online and then five minutes on scripture study. I'm grateful to have so much access to so much good and I want to fill my life with it.
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